The Work

A journey to the center of yourself

woman in darkness shadow trauma shame guilt anxious avoidant disorganized attachment codependency struggle love
Photo by Olayinka Babalola / Unsplash

Where did you learn that love is not a safe space to come as you are?

  • Are you walking on eggshells? Biting your tongue? Beating around the bush to express yourself without pissing people off and unleashing their defensiveness?
  • Are you masking parts of yourself because they don't fit into the neat little boxes people have designed for you?

And what has this done to your self-worth?

Societal narratives often suggest that families offer bonds of unconditional love and support. Within the safety of these bonds, we expect that we can explore our identities and learn about healthy relationships.

But what happens when those expectations have gone unmet because your personal experiences have been misaligned with the narrative? Maybe your first thought was, "What family bonds?" Maybe love was actually conditional in your family – dependent upon what you could do to prove it. Maybe there was little safety or support available unless you were the one offering it. What, then, have you learned about yourself and relationships?

That you must “stay in your place” – be seen and not heard?

That you must constantly adjust your behavior if you ever hope to access the approval and validation you never felt as a child?

That you must give more than you receive lest you be selfish?

That love means either patient struggle toward “potential” that seems just out of reach or “lowering your standards” – lingering in a realm of unmet expectations, familiar with the uncertainties and challenges of your upbringing?


Exploring these questions can provide insight into the dynamics impacting our friendships, romantic partnerships, and even workplace interactions.

high-achieving black woman of color focusing on others shifting focus to inner child self instead of self sabotage and people pleasing
Photo by Eye for Ebony / Unsplash

As high-achieving women of color, balancing personal happiness with professional success can seem hard AF, if not impossible. Society values achievement and implies that you can have it all – yet internal challenges like impostor syndrome and self-sabotage join forces with the microaggressions you already navigate.

What if you stopped focusing on people and things outside of yourself?

And shifted your focus inward, to the now-quiet voice of your inner child?

She deserves to finally be heard, to reveal the insights she’s been holding. We can listen together, uncovering deep-rooted patterns and receiving her guidance toward connecting with and accepting your true Self.

  • Imagine the freedom of no longer needing validation from others.
  • See yourself thriving with authentic self-love and powerful clarity.
  • Visualize healthier, more equitable relationships—ones rooted in mutual respect and care.

Now, are you ready to consider doing this work together?

woman considering looking up in thought as if feeling unsure confused afraid or guilty
Photo by Tachina Lee / Unsplash

Are you feeling guilty just for reading this far down the page? Worried how your family might feel if they knew you were here?

This work is not about placing blame. As you find compassion and healing for yourself, maybe you'll also find compassion for your family and for the ancestors who came before – from their own realms of unmet expectations and, therefore, unable to fully show up for you.

May our collective healing prevent the transmission of this trauma wounding for the generations to come. 🤎